Let's get our priorities right!

There's growing unrest in the world, the situation in Syria, Turkey shooting down a Russian jet, crimes against women on the rise (at least more getting reported and publicised), the Taliban flexing its muscles again, the ISIS and the concern about why it is attracting educated youngsters - but all that we can talk about is why Aamir Khan and Shahrukh Khan called us intolerant.

Of course we are not intolerant - we are only making this headline news, telling 'them' to leave the country, exhorting people to not watch their movies - seriously!!!! Of course there is no room for debate or discussion; of course we can not allow people to think for themselves! What if they actually thought,  and realised that this non-issue is really not worth discussing and that we need to discuss why primary education is still not reaching every child, why we have a shortage of teachers, why so many teachers don't attend school, why.... the list could go on and on but then do we have the time? We need to discuss why actors have a mind and are daring to speak out their minds! Bring it on people - let's solve all the world's problems by addressing these 'serious' issues!

It's only a stone! Why am I so attached to it?

It’s only a stone – why am I so attached to it?

Think of all the people who would have slaved in the mines to unearth this – or the first person who saw it for what it was but had to give it up to the owner of the mines – how tough would it have been to give it away!

Should I be getting so attached to material things that I can actually lose sleep over the loss of it? When did I become what I had so badly never wanted to be – did accumulation and then slowly possessiveness just grow on one? Creeping in sooooo gradually that before I realised it, I had started to value the wrong things about my ring – that I was appreciating the diamond rather than the fact that it was a first symbol of when we started being able to afford things/jewellery, just for fun and pleasure, not for resale value but for sheer happiness. Is that where the problem is – was a diamond ring really giving me happiness!

It was 2.30 in the night, when I moved my hand and something sharp poked me – I realised it was a spoke of the ring which had lost its diamond! A beautiful solitaire that I was entranced by – one piece of jewellery that I actually missed when I was not wearing it. Over 10 years old, it was special to me – I had purchased  it for a very ‘reasonable’  price. What I realise is that it was not the money that was bothering me – just the fact that a beautiful thing was lost. I am not sure giving it away would be tough – I hope not!  - but the fact that it just may have fallen away somewhere, and will find its way into the garbage dump really bothered me.  As did the thought of the family’s possible reactions to the loss.

That is when I realised, yet again, that I had a special blessed life. Ravi would be shocked, and would join the search, which would be a very vague one as we couldn’t really be sure of when it fell off – definitely within the past 3 hours. That is when I realised how often I looked at it – I was sure I would have noticed it immediately, which meant I looked at my ring once almost every 10 minutes! Anyway, he would have searched – and probably thought about how I should be more careful, but seeing how upset I was, would not have voiced the thought at all. He would have promptly suggested that we go shopping to pick up a new diamond to fit the gap! Even though very careful with money, he would not have thought twice about spending on something to try and make me feel happy. But he would have continued looking into the gaps in the furniture or the corners of the rooms, just to see whether it could be located.

My mother would have made lots of noise about how sad it was, and how hard we worked to build up a collection, and how we had never harmed anyone so good things only would happen to us, and would have ended with being convinced that it would show up one day. The true optimist!

My reaction surprised me – first feeling of regret at having lost a beautiful thing was followed by disgust at myself for not having looked after it better. I kept telling myself that I didn’t need a ring, that I was blessed that the family was healthy and doing well, that I should get my priorities right, set up the Trust for adult literacy that I had been planning, stop procrastinating, But… I couldn’t sleep! I was wide awake tossing and turning, then suddenly decided to rule out the possibility of the diamond being somewhere ‘locatable’. I switched on the torch in my phone and walked through the house, scanning the floor all the time. I even looked into a carton that had been kept for disposal as I remembered putting my hand into it an hour before we slept! I could see myself even a year later, not entirely able to stop looking for it.

Walking back into my room, trying to not disturb Ravi, but unwilling to put off my search, I flashed the torch just once more inside the room, and … something sparkled back at me. I still cannot believe I found it! Am I going to stop loving it – no!! but I am going to definitely something about the Trust and other such thoughts and GET MY PRIORITIES RIGHT!

I had gone to sleep after a discussion with Shashank about contact lenses for supriya for the wedding – one of the thoughts when the missing diamond really ‘woke’ me up was to get my priorities right.  This was going to be a special time for her any way – how did it matter whether she wore glasses or not in the photographs! Shashank’s message saying he was going to leave the decision to her made me realise how much I was getting trapped by others’ vision of what a wedding should be – these two had a good thing going and I am not going to spoil it. Am looking forward to a wonderful month ahead.

Saying which, this same note would not have been written if my diamond had not been found J

Trading in my Priority Pass for a Spencers Card

My life seems to be a series of stepping backwards, or sideways, to move ahead. I first stepped away from the rat race when I left what could have been a lucrative job in software to start working in the development sector. Nine years later, I have stepped aside again, to spend my time doing things that I feel I would like to do – spend time with my mother, volunteer with NGOs doing meaningful work, catch up with friends, listen to music, do a lot of quilting and crochet and read for the rest of the day. All this will of course be interspersed with some household chores that don’t need mentioning, as those get done anyway, with or without a career.

My first day away from work, deciding to first finish off the ‘chores’ part of the day, I walked into a supermarket to stock up on provisions at 10 in the morning. The entire place felt strange, as the aisles were mostly empty. The few customers were mostly senior citizens, some of them accompanied by a middle-aged escort, and one or two young mothers, probably catching up on chores in the gap between dropping a child off to school and picking them up again. My first feeling when I saw the other customers was, ‘does this mean I also have nothing more important to do in the morning? Am I making a mistake by opting to not go to work?’

Then I looked around at the huge store, at the shelves stacked with goods and the relative silence that came with a music-less, announcement-free store.

The attendants were all busy chatting while re-arranging the items on the shelves, finding enough time to admire each other’s clothes and jewellery before the day’s work picked up and kept them on their toes. In one corner, a group of youngsters were familiarizing them with the offers for the day. ‘Remember, you need to mention that there is a basket free with 2 kilos of apples’ was the instruction given to one youngster who was nervously fiddling with a mike that he would probably wield later in the day.

Until a month ago, I had been travelling so often that the airport staff in my hometown had become acquaintances, to the extent that one of them waved me away when I reached for my ID proof at the entrance, saying "Don’t worry Madam, you are a regular customer." The Priority Pass allowing me access to airport lounges had been given the pride of place in my wallet.  I loved that life while it lasted, but now, as I tucked away the Priority Pass into a remoter part of my wallet, and installed the Spencer member card in its place, I realised that I definitely had a lot to look forward to, and life was going to continue being wonderful.