Friendships that mend broken hearts

Yesterday, there was a discussion in one group about friendships between men, and the difference in them from friendships between women.

It got me thinking about my friendships, and what they mean to me. A lot of relationships have been tested over the past one year, especially that of me as a mother. It has been a tough year, and I cannot imagine how I would have gone through it alone. I would not have been able to get up every morning, go through each day with a semblance of sanity, and basically keep living in this last year if it hadn't been for my female friends (and I'm happy to include a sister, some nieces, and some sisters-in-law as friends). Their continuous support and messages of 'I can't imagine what you are going through, but call if you want to talk', 'Just thinking of you. Love you', 'I am here if you want to cry, or even if you want to keep quiet', ‘Just take it easy, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do’, ‘We are just a call away’, and many many more like these made me stronger. They let me know I was okay, and would be okay. These friends also promised to keep an eye on me, and let me know if I looked like I wasn't doing okay and needed professional help. That was such precious reassurance.

A lot of these friendships were made when our children were younger, and discussions in those days were not intense - mostly about sleep times, school curriculums and shopping - but these friendships lasted through the years, even if the children themselves lost touch with each other. Over time, we stayed in touch, with some more than with others, more because of Geography than intent. There were calls and meetings, almost daily with some, as infrequently as maybe once a month with some, and only messages on a birthday or an anniversary with others. But each time we connected, we picked up right where we had left it the previous time we connected. There was never a moment of awkwardness or discomfort. The baseline of our friendship was set.

This sisterhood is the best thing that happened to me. It is possible only because we were all willing to invest our time, put in some effort, and openly show that we needed each other. It is comforting to know they will be there, in good times and bad.

The myth is that you can't make good friends as you go older. Friendships are there waiting to be made at any age, so long as we are willing to nurture them. I've made friends in the last few years, even in the last one year, that I know will be there for me. As will I for them, I am sure.