I was devastated a few minutes ago as my joint account with Shashank changed to become my single one. I can recall the day I went with him to open this minor account when he was probably around 7 years old. Just a month before he left us ( is that how one will forever describe his demise?) I was telling him to close the joint account with me as he already had one with Supriya. His response was so quick! "Why should I? This was my first bank account. I'll never close it!". And he didn't. But I did. Bit by tiny bit, he's being erased from our future.
He's already not a Director in the Company and the Foundation he started, and soon, Ravi and I will be the signatories for the bank accounts linked to these organisations. I have also just finished the horrifying task of dismissing him as an employee so that the insurance premium is not deducted against his name.
My dear considerate son had so thoughtfully added nominees for all his investments that his wife, brother, father and I have become benefactors without ever ever wanting this to happen. What else am I going to have the strength to face?
Thinking back on discussions we had about the need for life insurance, I recall how he would keep talking about it as a useless investment. All I can think of now is, thank goodness he didn't believe in it. Else one or some of us would possibly be benefitting from his demise, and that would surely be too much!
We took our time to process all this financial stuff, but also agreed that it was essential. This was Shashank's hard-earned money and had to be taken care of as per his wishes. But shouldn't it have been the reverse? Isn't he the one who should have been processing Ravi's and my finances?
We will surely figure out how to best benefit some other organisations or people in Shashank's name, and that will hopefully be less debilitating and ensure the postponement of the gradual erasure of one wonderful human's giant footprint on this Earth that he loved.
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